Friday, May 28, 2004

Stupid girl

I'm thtupid!!!

I did an online IQ test at One of those things you do and regret immediately. If you get good scores, of course, they are scientifically sound. But I think they suck and are flawed and stupid anyway.
Like me.
I got 117.

Wait, you may say, 117 is not bad. Bush got 90, and he is president. Yeah, great, that's a compliment. Like my dad used to say, among the blind the one-eyed is king.
For Jeebus' sake, I got 123 when I was 16, and I was stupid back then. My IQ has SUNK?????

It must be the booze.
Seriously, I sat in front of the pooter, staring at the logical problems for ages, with my mind in a blur. Logic isn't part of my vocabulary. My brain doesn't work that way. Thank goodness the test wasn't timed, or I would make even Bush look like Einstein.

I stomped out of the room, wailing. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I'M STUPID!!!!!
You need to understand, I thought being mildly smart is my only asset. Since I am not the average Bournemouth schoolgirl floozy and way too geeky and frigid, blowjobbing my way to the top is kinda out of the equation.

I took another test... and this time I got 127. Apparently, within minutes I went from being two IQ points from shitting in the gutter to being a "visionary philosopher", in the same ranks with Plato and co. Amazing what you can get if you just complain enough. Needless to say, I was consoled and greatly pleased. I scanned the page for more flattering comparisons.

A bright orange button blinked, promising me a 15 page report of asskissing my supposed intellect in an indepth analysis of the superior workings of my brain.
"Aren't you dying to know exactly how your mind works, based on our fool-proof scientific analysis, and see who you compare to?" teased the button.
I was dying to.
"Then click here!"
With shaking hands, I clicked, expecting to see pages and pages of my mind glory.

For just $12.95, of course.


Still... all my friends are smarter than me. I guess I will always be the blonde in the family.

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