Monday, November 22, 2004

Wanna take a dump in Mother Maggie's shoes?

Hell yeah!

Damn I'm frustrated to the brink of tears. I was on the phone with my bank this morning, trying to get the 100 quid back that they lost, and they - who had the nerve to abuse my favourite Michael Nyman tune in their black horse haunted adverts (and horseshit seems to be the only fruit of their labor, too!) - proved to be absolutely useless.

Won't go too much into the story except that due to a computer failure or whatever (are they using bloody windows 98??? Why isn't there a Control-Alt-Delete option on the fuckin ATM machines???) my bank by accident booked a lot of money (for my almost non-supported student terms, but really peanuts for that big business) out of my account. Of course, I went immediately to my bank to reclaim it, and they told me it wouldn't take more than a week for it to get back on my account, but by now twice the time has passed and still no money in sight. All of a sudden they want to tell me that it will take a month (!!!) as they need to correspond with the bank to whom the ATM machine belonged.

A month??? Do they send a fuckin horse courier across the country??

I tried to explain the situation to them, how someone who lives from minimum wage paycheck to minimum wage paycheck cannot afford to have two banks have a month-long cabble over money that doesn't belong to them in the first place, but the standard answer was: "There is nothing we can do!"

Do they call that customer service? I mean, I understand that the person on the other end of the line can't do much, but they cannot tell me that university-trained people with banking skills need a fuckin month to sort out a miniscule problem like that (but don't I dare take the same amount of time when they want something from me!)

So I will end up paying my rent late for the second time, which is not what you want to do if you want references from landlords later.

The first lady I spoke to at least was friendly enough to ask whether a temporary overdraft would help me. Yeah, it would, I said (did I mention because I am just some foreign idiot student, I haven't even got the smallest overdraft?), so she put me through to the overdraft department. Where some lad told me that I am not eligible for an overdraft. What kind of fuckin joke is that??? I got really pissed off, ended up explaining the whole thing again, and that I am considering taking my business elsewhere if I cannot entrust my money to them, but he must have had a fuckin tape running on loop somewhere because the only line I heard from him was "Sorry ma'am... there is nothing we can do!"

I bet if I was some of their fuckin filthy rich customers, they would jump at my command... cos they can't afford to lose those. But what's with a tiny poor student, who gives a fuck? I mean, they care about 100 quid? What advantages do they provide?

Damn. Lloyds TSB can kiss my fuckin ass.

Update November 23rd:

Now here is news. I got my money back today.
Strangely, I am not satisfied. Not even because I haven't gotten even so much as an apology - what's that worth? No, it is because it seems true that you have to be an asshole to get your way, or even your rights, these days. And I am not happy with that. I don't want to have to contribute to that sort of climate. I have always hated it, I have never believed in it, and yesterday I had to resort to that kind of shit.

And moreover, it just showed that things can be done quickly... they just couldn't be asked to, until someone set their arses on fire. This is pretty pathetic business. I am not impressed.

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