Monday, September 11, 2006

The problem of evil

I have always wondered how to cure evil. I know, that sounds stupid, like I've got some Messiah complex. But the thing is, I just see it like, how can I expect for things to get better if I just sit and wait? Maybe it's part of my "religious" belief... I believe in the concept of evil, even though I also believe in postmodernism. I believe there are things people can do wrong. And I believe that evil is the tendency to damage, harm and distort.
The Christian view, in simple terms is, to turn the other cheek, and I understand that to a certain extent, because if one side doesn't put a stop to violence, you get disasters like the middle east. But it isn't that easy, and I think it must be a misunderstood concept, as well, because it would imply to accept any form of abuse without ever standing up for yourself.
How far do you go? How long do you wait? How often do you try it the nice way?
That's a thing that has tortured me immensely... when I fell out with The Evil Bitch that gave birth to me. Obviously, the only way to find peace was to cut her off. Some things are beyond healing.
It's also really hard for me to be around mean and rude people. Rude not in the sense of swearing, but in the sense of being unkind just for the sake of it. Fair enough, I am somewhat on the sensitive side, and I can accept that people sometimes have a bad day, but I have met people who seem to take pleasure in hurting others, and I simply can't get my head around that. I just don't get it.
I have tried to be nice to them. To overlook the fact that they are hurtful. Foolishly, I thought that maybe being nice would be a way to break that. It may work in novels and movies. But in real life? Forget about it. It's hard to be compassionate with someone who hurts you permanently.
It boggled my mind. Why the fuck are people still evil when you have done everything to show them that you mean well?
I found the answer the other day.
It's a simple quote from a guy called Scott Peck (I wonder, is that the same guy who wrote "The Road Less Travelled"?), and it goes like this.

"Regardless of how well they attempt to appear calm and collected in their daily dealings, the evil live their lives in fear. It is a terror – and a suffering – so chronic, so interwoven into the fabric of their being, that they may not even feel it as such.”

That's when I realised that there is no cure for evil. The only thing you can do is keep your own life sorted. I dunno if it is wrong to shut out evil people, for the sake of trying to avoid being hurt and become a monster yourself. I just can't do it. I don't feel equipped for it. And I dunno if I should be.

No comments: