Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Shallow Gal

There comes a time in the life of every girl where she just needs to be shallow and follow animal instincts. Of course, I only write that to justify myself, because, really, I can't stand shallowness.
So I have a monthly Shallow Day to get it out of my system, and to lighten up this blog a little, I shall post it here.

And c'mon, you can't give me hell because men do it all the time. If I got a nickel for everytime I heard the males around here holler: "Aye, that bird is fit!" about some brainless, boob-dominated, hairstraightened wannabe pornstar bimbo, I could bribe Bush into resigning, or doing the funky chicken dance at a Taliban outing.

Anyways, so here is my list of hottest celebrity eyecandy to drool over, not necessarily in order of preference

1) Joaquin Phoenix
2) Tobey Maguire (dontcha love cute geeks!)
3) Ben Chaplin
4) Wil Wheaton (more cute geekage!)
5) Daniel Johns during his "Neon Ballroom" days
6) Rob Thomas (yes, fear his penis!)
7), yes, slightly disturbing as cradlesnatching, Elijah Wood (Hobbitses need lovin, too!)
8) Keanu Reeves - when he can be bothered to shave (he may not be a great actor, but hey, it's not that I want him for acting)
9) Gary Sinise (thinking of his appearance in "The Stand", I wouldn't kick Adam Storke out of bed, either)

Overrated celebrities you could tie to my stomach and I would run till they fall off:

1) Tom Cruise
2) Brad Pitt
3) Patrick Swayze
4) Leonardo DiCaprio
5) and in spite of all misconceptions because of my being German, David Hasselhoff! For cryin out loud! Stop hassling me with the Hoff!

No pictures here... do you think nothing repulses me?

List of material for Bizarre Love Triangles DM (HAH!):

1) Pauly Shore (wease the juice, bud-dy!)
2) Bobcat Goldthwait in his police academy days ("America is the finest country anyone ever stole!")
3) Steve Buscemi (couldn't find a picture that was weird enough)
4) John Malkovich ("Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich") (doesn't really need a picture, does it?)

So? Sue me!

*wanders off, confessed, cleansed and all virtuous*

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