"Vertrauenslehrer"

In the schools where I grew up, there was a weird concept. I don’t know how globally widespread it is, but it has to be bizarre wherever you go. At least from the kids’ point of view.
It’s the idea of the “teacher of trust”, how we call it: The teacher assigned to be a confidential to students. I mean, how can you be assigned to do that? The thing was, most of the teachers I knew who had that position were exactly the kind of psycho bastards that traumatised you on a daily basis and made something like a Vertrauenslehrer a necessity:
The p.e. teacher, an infamous sports nazi who has no qualms about chasing you 3 miles at high speed during a summer heat until you fainted, shouting slogans like “In a healthy body lives a healthy spirit!”
Or the sadistic math teacher nicknamed The Pig, and not just for the shape of his nose, who laughs at you when you explain your being late with having to take your ill pet to the vet to be put down.

Right. That’s exactly the person you want to tell your deepest, most emotional secrets to.
No wonder us Germans are fucked up.